This just in from the National Weather Service - Edouard not up to Bogle standards!

TROPICAL STORM EDOUARD INTERMEDIATE LOCAL STATEMENT

NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE LAKE CHARLES LA

153 PM CDT TUE AUG 5 2026

...EDOUARD MOVING FARTHER AWAY FROM THE AREA IN SHAME...

.AT 100 PM CDT...THE CENTER OF TROPICAL STORM EDOUARD WAS LOCATED NEAR LATITUDE 30.0 NORTH...LONGITUDE 94.8 WEST OR ABOUT 40 MILES WEST OF BEAUMONT TEXAS.

EDOUARD IS MOVING TOWARD THE WEST-NORTHWEST NEAR 10 MPH...AND THIS GENERAL MOTION IS EXPECTED TO CONTINUE OVER THE NEXT DAY OR TWO...TAKING EDOUARD ACROSS CENTRAL TEXAS.

MAXIMUM SUSTAINED WINDS HAVE DECREASED AND ARE NOW NEAR 50 MPH WITH HIGHER GUSTS. ADDITIONAL WEAKENING IS FORECAST AS EDOUARD CONTINUES MOVING FARTHER INLAND.

ERIC BOGLE DECLARES EDOUARD “TOTAL BULLSHIT.” HE ADVISES RESIDENTS THAT EDOUARD “FUCKING SUCKS” AND THAT “IT’S BARELY EVEN RAINING”. FUTHERMORE, IT IS NOTED THAT MR BOGLE WANTS “SOME DESTRUCTION” AND IS PERPLEXED THAT HE “STAYED HOME FOR THIS SHIT!”

photo by Dr. Murphelz